1) Collect lots of bridal magazines.
Listen I understand that maybe you feel a little silly adding "Brides" to your groceries at checkout, but trust me it pays off. I remember several times checking out with my bridal magazine only to have the cashier say " how congratulations, when are you getting married?" Then comes that odd moment where I had to say " Oh, I am not engaged yet" this was almost always followed by a weird facial expression from the cashier and a quick change in subject. What I find ironic about this is that since I have been engaged I have yet to have anyone ask me when I am getting married when I buy Bridal magazines.. sometimes I just want to yell out " I am engaged and getting married, just so you know" but I resist that impulse. Okay so back to why you should collect magazines. First it really helps you begin to form your "wedding style." Much like your personality, your wedding style will start to take form as you see ideas you both like and hate. I would cut out ideas I liked as well as ideas I disliked. I wanted to be able to show potential vendors what I didn't want my wedding to look like as well as what my dream wedding would look like... It helps you start to paint the picture you already see in your head so others can bring your vision to life!! After you cut out ideas, there are several ways you can do it from there. Some of my friends have made "wedding inspiration boards" where they began posting things they loved. Others just simply cut them out, and put them in a folder. Personally, I preferred to make a binder where I could organize my ideas by specific category. This worked well for me, but you have to find your own style. After you are done with the magazines, donate them to another soon-to-be bride while some things may go out of style, many things remain the same and will be able to give the newly engaged girl a good starting point. ( I will be passing all mine down to my younger sister, who just recently got engaged and will be getting married six months after me)
2) Research, Research, Research- google is your best friend. Use the internet to your full advantage. Start googling weddings in your area. I started by look at photographers blogs ( note, photographers work will show the entire wedding and list all the vendors). I browsed through hundreds of photographers blogs in the city I knew I would marry in. I started to become familiar with the local vendors. I got to the point where I could look at a wedding and know who the vendors were before reading it at the bottom of the blog. This does a few things. First, it helps you see what is out there. You will begin to see work you like and things you don't like. You get to see what vendors commonly work together which can give you some hints to the price of the wedding etc. This was a great starting point for me. From the blog world I quickly moved into the entire internet by finding each vendors website and digging deeper. At this point here are some tips I found helpful.
-Start by browsing the vendors website. Look at their portfolio, read the feedback left by clients, look at the general flow and professionalism of their website. I can't tell you how many times I have discarded a vendor just by their website. I mean come on, you are a videographer but you have no videography on your website?? Yeah, I am passing on that. Vendors know often their website is the first ( and sometimes only) thing clients see, therefore how much energy they put into their website says a great deal to me. After all, this will be the same energy they are putting into your special day.
-Join theKnot.com. Once a member, join a local community board. Read what local brides to be are saying about vendors. Most of the time this will be your greatest source of information. You will be able to read reviews of brides who have used the vendor you are researching in the past and talk to them about their thoughts and concerns. The girls are honest and helpful, in my experience at least. Also many of them have been to their fair share of weddings and can help give you ideas maybe you hadn't thought of.
-Become a "social butterfly" Once you find vendors you think you might be interested in, add them on facebook, twitter etc.. The advantage here is you will get to see their real work. You will get to read what others say about them, their work ethic, their talent etc. One of the big things I leaned here was I got to see how long their turn around is. For example, I was highly interested in a videographer ( can you tell I am on the hunt for a videographer right now?) however as I began to follow their work I noticed they were taking 8-9 months to complete the edited wedding videos. I knew that was not what I wanted. One of my favorite things about social networking is you can also kinda get to know your vendor. For me it's important that my vendors value marriage, are loyal and trustworthy people. I also love being able to read what Brides, grooms, mother of the brides and wedding guests say about the wedding.. what did they rave about? Facebook is a great way to do that!
3) Pull it all together. Once you have a few possible vendors in each category and you have read every bridal magazine since 2000, then you are ready to start pulling all your dreams together.
-Make/buy a Wedding binder. Remember the episode of "Friends" where monica is planning her wedding and pulls out this big, decorated, organized binder? Yeah, thats the idea you are going for here. In the process of planning my wedding I have now had 4, yes 4 wedding binders. Let me share my rationale. My first binder was my PLAN A. This was my dream wedding, no matter what the cost. It is the princess marrying the prince, all the bless and red carpet. My second was my PLAN B. This was a little more conservative in budget, some fancy some plain jane. My third was my PLAN C. This is budget friendly, for us it was eloping to Paris, France!! And now, my fourth is my actual wedding I am planning now. I combined things from each of my three binders into one, kinda like the greatest hits of wedding stuff to me. I had my fourth binder personalized with my name on it because I knew once I got engaged, this baby would be going with me everywhere! It has really been a life saver. Whenever I book a new vendor, I make sure I get their card and add it in my binder ( as well as my iphone of course). My binder is always up to date, and had pictures all over it of inspiration.. so someone could look at it as see my wedding vision.
 |
| Love the tabs! |
- Buy a good wedding planning book. While I am not here to endorse any particular wedding planning book, I will tell you I have bought several and this is by far my favorite. " The Wedding Book- The big book for your big Day" by Mindy Weiss. You may know Mindy, she is the go to wedding planner for all the celebrities. Let's just say if anyone knows wedding, it's Mindy Weiss. Her book walks you step by step through the wedding planning process. Give you tips, timelines, ideas.. Fabulous book! A must have for any bride.
 |
| How adorable is this? "Talk to mom" |
Tips:
-If possible start planning early. I was able to do all my research on vendors before I was even engaged. This was the biggest gift I could have given myself.. I didn't know it at the time, but once you get engaged it is like time speeds up really fast, days fly by, and before you know it you are months away from your wedding. I was able ( using tips above) to narrow down my vendor search to two in each category, with an additional list of "back ups" just in case. This way once I was engaged I knew it was a matter of making a few calls. I already knew my vendors checked out and the type of work they would produce. My fiance commented multiple times how thankful he was that we only had to go look at once reception venue. He was impressed that I had a Plan A, B and C. Know what you want a head of time, trust me you will thank me later!!
-Remember the wedding is about you and your man, NOT everyone else. I think most of the time family means well, but let's be honest they can stick their nose where it doesn't belong. Your wedding is about the two of you spending your life together. Do what you want. Don't look back on your wedding a wish you would have listened to your gut on something, listen now! Surround yourself with people who love you and want you happy, not those who criticize your every choice.
-Take care of yourself. Mentally and physically. Weddings are stressful, make sure you are taking time for you! Sometimes that means you need to stop doing wedding stuff and sleep, take a bubble bath, go for a long walk.. whatever you need to do to keep yourself together. DO IT! This should be the happiest time of your life, so if you allow outside forces to upset you, you will have a hard time enjoying this process.
-Remember no one is as into your wedding as you are. This was a hard thing for me to fully understand, but no one cares about your wedding as much as you do. As the bride you care about every detail and its sometimes hard to understand why your friend doesn't care if you have an ivory runner with gold trim or a gold runner with white trim. Remember it is your day, so while their advice is helpful its really up to you. Don't be upset if they don't want to talk about wedding stuff every time you are together. And keep in mind this is even more the case with your already married friends. Once their wedding is said and done, they aren't near as into talking wedding anymore.. just the fact! Doesn't mean they don't love you, they are just past that stage in their lives. Find people who do care and will listen as you agonize over the details. Sometimes that is found in a mother, or a sister. Or reach out to the brides on theKnot.com, many of them are going through the very same thing.
- Savor every moment. More than anything, remember this time in your life will pass with time.. and you will miss it. Savor the planning, the late night researching, the endless girl chats about your dress, the shopping dates with your mom.. cherish it!! I know I sure am!!
